My loneliness is only kept for you-Fei Min Solo show
Curator: Jian Feng
Artist: Fei Ming
Reception: 2012.09.01 20:00
Duration: 2012.09.02 – 10.07（Tue – Sun 11am-18pm）
Venue: Contemporary Yunnan, A zone, Jin Ding 1919, North Jindingshan Lu No.24, Kunming
Preface By Jian Feng
Fei Min has a loneliness and alienation sense towards the world and her living environment. It comes from her quiet and peaceful nature, for she always drifts away from things and matters. Being a melancholy bystander, part of the reason is her worries – about changes of the world. Another reason is because she is powerless to change many things by her own.
The endless greed of human being is eating the world of animals that Fei Min loved, which is her fear and desperation. She is always anxious about the disappearing of animals from earth, those beautiful features are fading, that she can only chase them, visit them, miss them, and keep them on her canvas forever.
Relationship between human and animals are subtle and interesting. Some animals quickly tame us after accepting and becoming our friends. When we are alone, we always want a pet without betray, thus we could take care of them, please, or indulge them whole-heartedly. We even can’t stop thinking of them when apart from them. They are in the yard, in the sofa, in our warm memories; they are everywhere, for we have no strength to face loneliness any more. These pets can make us to spend our love and care endlessly without considering, avoiding us to bear the sadness of nowhere to put love.
While we are creating too much lonely landscape, but never have the courage to try the wonderful taste of loneliness. How many people could enjoy being alone at nightfall, instead of fumbling through the contents book for companies and instantly rush into the crowd, unless there is a cat to feed or dog to bath. Without them, how do we face the lonely afternoon and inexplicable wake up in the night?
Fei Min’s enthusiasm, has spread from the courtyard to the mountains and jungle, missing the lonely figure of the animals could make her sleepless in the night, she devoutly pray for them every day, and wishing mysterious power to help them from disturbance and keep living in the quiet world.
“On the Road” writer Jack Kerouac once said, “人一生要试着走进荒野，体验一次健康而又难耐的孤独。当环顾四周发现只有自己可以依靠的时候，才能知晓自身的潜在力量。” This is the declaration which braves many people enough to appreciate the lonely strength. But since when, loneliness has become shameful?
Fei Min has felt the beauty of loneliness. These years she went to some places visiting wild animals that she thinks about, carrying a heavy camera and chasing the footsteps just in order to see a baby elephant walking or listening to roars of a tiger. After come back to city, she began to endlessly missing and telling about the broad river, the starry night, the wonderful moments she saw in the bushes…those distant friends are her greatest care, the burning flames in sleepless nights, in order to comfort these thoughts, she began to paint them on canvas. Painting is her other language to talk, in these paintings, she releases the most intimate pain within the heart which, the infinite sorrow, which makes her steady, and ultimately illuminate a small world.
Fei Min loves animal, she loves all creatures, and influencing people to love with her compassionate words and deeds. Only animals in her world, on her canvas, her traveling is always for meeting and photographing them. Although ineloquent, you could easily open her world with talking about animals. The shelter stray puppy or kitten at home or tigers and giraffes in the jungle; from Dian Lake birds to Nepal elephants, them fill her world. All she loves are on her canvas: the talking eyes of cat, the sorrow figure of a zebra, the lonely walking elephant, the leopard in a fantasy world…these delicate and warm strokes could melt our soft heart.
When she is lonely, her heart is actually filled with same solitary animal friends. Rather than lonely, they are peaceful. To enjoy loneliness is not a easy thing any more. Too often, we hovering about in the crowd for we don’t want to be forgotten, and we give up all happiness that loneliness brings with self-loathing. We are so fragile, losing the impregnable power loneliness brings, a casual lonely night could drive us crazy, even when we are extremely tired we still want to dive into crowd, to get close to the noisy sound, which brings sense of security. With a chaotic environment and infinitely desolate heart, we still don’t want to give up. Only strong-minded people and animals in the wild can enjoy the beauty of loneliness. No matter travel with companion or alone, there’s always a feast of freedom.
Syrian poet Adonis said, my loneliness is a garden. Today, this garden is abandoned with no one showing. In the mysterious kingdom, Fei Min and her animal friends are keep walking in the lonely jungle happily, in the silent wilderness singing softly: dearest, I am here, my loneliness is only kept for you.